I––Should I be worried, Taylor? Or just glad that I’ve never had to share a bed with you?
Worried? A little bit. Happy you’ve never had the Taylor Swift experience? More like disappointed, in my opinion. I’m fantastic in bed, ask anyone who’s shared one with me.
I mean damn if that’s true.
It doesn’t get much more insane than body shots and sex on the kitchen counter. To this day I’m impressed with myself.
Truer words have never been spoken, if y’ask me.
Pretty sure I was the one who initiated the whole thing in the first place so there wouldn’t have been drunk sex on the kitchen counter if I didn’t drunk text you thus awards all go to me, mister.
PM: You would have realized I was the bigger Jonas?
PM: Uh — yeah, no comment.
What if this is the one time I get called in for jury duty?!
You really think they’d trust a kid’s judgment against a renowned pop sensation? I think not.
I suppose i should be happy that i am not a guy, then?
Relieved’s a better term, I think.
… if I do, will I end up the subject of one of your songs? Because I’m not 100% sure I want to be added to list the assholes you’ve written about.
Yes. No. Maybe so. Take a wild guess for yourself, Britt. Hey, most people would feel appreciated as fuck to have a song written solely for them especially if it wins one of those highly sought-for music awards.
Again, just to make it completely clear to anyone reading this now or to any federal agents reading this in the future, we have never discussed murdering any guy of any sort— like ever.
Friendly reminder that I love you. So much. Partner in crimes for life, am I right?